He had thought of penning an insightful and penetrating article on French taxation law. And then he thought, “Balls!” Or rather, since Barry Cornell is refined and lives in France, he thought “Boules”.

Instead of pondering the intricacies of how to fill in an incomprehensible French tax return when I could never fill in an incomprehensible British tax return, I offer instead this ‘Foules Guide to Boules’. It is not a treatise for experts or aficionados; rather, it aims to present the basic rules and niceties of the game in a way that will help foreign residents or holidaymakers to join in without making total fools of themselves as quickly as usual. So let’s begin.

Boules is a game played by Frenchmen with very heavy balls. Consequently, very little activity is required – I mean, if you’ve got heavy balls you don’t want to be swimming or horse riding or, perish the thought, hurdling, do you? No, boules is a gentle, non-strenuous and extremely simple game. Teams consist of either one, two or three players. In teams of three, players use two balls each, while in teams of one or two they use three balls each. The only other equipment needed is a measuring tape and an ample supply of alcohol, preferably pastis. Now, wasn’t that easy? Stay with me, there’s more.